


Love in the Time of Toilet Paper Shortage

by SirLadySketch



Series: The Covid Collection [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: AkuRoku - Freeform, Alls fair in love and toilet paper shortages, Flirting, Fluff, I just wanted to write something fun for these difficult times, M/M, Social distancing dating, background soriku (mentioned), modern au i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:42:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23400916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SirLadySketch/pseuds/SirLadySketch
Summary: There's a shortage of toilet paper and Roxas is a man on a mission. Unfortunately, TP isn't the only thing around that's short, and desperate times call for desperate measures.Things have been a little crazy and pretty dark as of late, so I wanted to write something silly and fun.
Relationships: Axel/Roxas (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: The Covid Collection [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2069763
Comments: 14
Kudos: 51





	Love in the Time of Toilet Paper Shortage

**Author's Note:**

> For the server squad; thanks for your patience guys, hope you enjoy! Hang in there, stay smart, and stay safe. <3

Roxas had seen the last pack from the end of the aisle, tucked back behind the cardboard display of seasonal merch and a cart of emptied supply boxes. He wasn’t too worried as he lost sight of it as he rolled his cart towards it-- he’d been counting on it, since that was clearly the only way that this last bundle of toilet paper had been overlooked -- but he was a tad concerned how he’d _acquire_ said bundle. 

He planned to climb the shelves (he had no shame, he was short, dammit, and he had to do what was necessary), so long as there were no store employees around. Hell, he still might do it; these were desperate times and this was the fourth store he’d been to. Besides, the staff were taking the whole social distancing stance to heart and staying as far away from customers as possible, so he should be ok. Probably.

He casually parked his cart and gave the aisle another sweep. There was someone down at the other end of the row looking at sanitary napkins, and for the briefest moment Roxas wondered the man thought they were actual napkins, and what kind of surprise he was in for if he did-- especially if he’d snagged the scented ones. Roxas shook his head, clearing the memory that drifted to the surface and forcing himself to focus. This was the last item on his list, the last thing he needed to get before he went back to his apartment and barricaded the door, metaphorically speaking.

The coast was clear, and it was now or never. He stepped up onto the bottom shelf, distributing his weight evenly to limit the amount of damage he’d do to the thin aluminum shelving. He could feel it dent, hoped it wouldn’t be too noticeable as he slowly lifted to the balls of his feet, then his tippy toes, and reached over the lip of the top shelf, fingers splayed and searching for his prize.

He couldn’t reach.

His fingers just brushed the plastic, just enough to nudge it further back into its hiding spot behind the support beam. He cursed and tried to wriggle higher, and placed a tentative knee on the next shelf, testing his weight. It buckled and he almost fell back, catching himself on the pillar before he could fall flat on his ass. Thank god no one had seen him. At this rate, he might need to go further down the aisle and snag one of those brooms to try to sweep it into his cart, but that risked someone else snagging the goods in the 15 seconds it would take him to get there and back again.

“Need a hand with that?”

He didn’t have a chance to respond. He felt the brush of the man’s arm against his, heard the crinkle of plastic as he caught hold of the bundle, and then it was moving past the edge of his vision in one smooth, quick motion.

Roxas scrambled off the shelf and self consciously tugged his sweatshirt back into place before looking at the human tree in front of him. The guy had to be pushing six feet, but the spiked red hair had to add an extra six inches on top of that. He held the toilet paper up, watching Roxas with a slight smile on his face. Roxas flushed.

“Thanks for that,” he said, reaching for the package, but the guy lifted it just out of his reach. 

“Y’know, this is the last pack on the shelf, maybe the last to be found anywhere. They’re all out all over town,” the guy told him, still looking at him with that half smile. 

Roxas frowned at him, not quite believing what he was hearing. Did this guy think he was going to get away with stealing the last pack? Really? After Roxas had clearly intended to get it-- and _would have_ , thank you very much, in a few minutes. Still, he kept his voice calm and his hand extended, waiting.

“Yes, I know,” he said through a forced smile. “Thanks for helping me out.”

“Hmmm, I mean, I was heading over to snag this before you started going all King Kong on the shelves,” the guy said, smile unrelenting. “I could claim finders-keepers and head home with my prize.”

“ _Seriously?”_ Roxas snapped, not quite able to bite back the anger that rose to challenge the guy’s cheerful tone. He lowered his hand and crossed his arms to hide the fist he wanted to connect with the dude’s face, and considered kicking him in the shin to steal back what was rightfully his.

“Buuuuuut I’d be willing to trade,” the guy continued, lowering the bundle tantalizingly close to Roxas’ head. 

Roxas resisted the urge to kick out, and looked up and down the aisle again, just in case a store employee happened to be passing. Not that there was much they could do either-- the guy was a skyscraper. Briefly, he considered ‘going all King Kong’ to climb up and steal back what was rightfully his, but that might give the guy the wrong impression, and there was no guarantee that he’d actually be able to grab the bundle without causing an incident. So, he counted to ten, took in a deep breath, and used his best customer service voice to reply.

“Look, the toilet paper is the only thing that’s been cleaned out-- you can get any of these other things in the other aisles,” Roxas said, loosening his hand just enough to wave vaguely at the items in his cart. “What do you want?”

Seeing Roxas’ irritated resignation, the man’s grin widened. “Your name, Mr. King Kong. And your number.” He took the bundled and tapped it on his head in mock salute, although the spikes suffered little effect. The smile was in full force now. “I’m Axel, nice to meet you.”

Roxas stared at him, mouth tightening into a thin line. If it was any other day under any other circumstance, he might be flattered. It wasn’t every day that he got hit on, let alone by an attractive guy with a charming smile. But this was a time of chaos, and his patience was in tattered shreds. He’d been shopping for five hours, and this Axel dude was holding the final piece of his extensive shopping list items. The last item between him and going home to crash face-down on the couch. He weighed his options carefully as Axel waited.

On the one hand, in these trying times, fights breaking out in the middle of a grocery store were not unheard of. If he jumped Axel, he might be able to angle the attack in such a way that he could snag the bundle and then get the abandoned shopping cart between them before he raced off to check out. If he aimed low, he could topple the man into the shelves and let the bundle fall from his hands. But that option risked the precious item flying off down the aisle, and he couldn’t risk stealing it from one person only to lose it to another.

On the other hand, giving the dude his number would be the easiest route. He could get his toilet paper and escape home, and just block Axel if he actually sent a text. Of course, he ran the risk of a future awkward encounter if they ever bumped into each other again when things had settled down, but that was a risk worth taking. 

“Roxas,” he said, eyes on the prize. He shifted on the balls of his feet, still unsure about giving a stranger his number. It wasn’t the first time someone had tried to pick him up, it happened pretty regularly when he and the gang went bar hopping, but it seemed wrong to find this stupidly attractive guy in the middle of a panic-emptied grocery store. There had to be some sort of catch. He narrowed his eyes, still hesitating, and Axel held up his hands in mock surrender.

“No catch, promise. Your number for these goods.” Axel’s grin grew, and he waggled his eyebrows for effect. “I’d offer more, of course-- a bottle of wine, a nice dinner, a date-- but, y’know, social distancing.”

“These goods meaning the toilet paper and you?” Roxas asked, but he felt the edge of his lip twist up. 

“Hey now, I’m top shelf quality too, y’know.”

Roxas barked out a laugh and relented at last, pulling out his phone and tapping in a brief message to the number Axel rattled off. Axel’s pocket buzzed and, like magic, the paper goods landed in Roxas’ cart. In the same movement, Axel pulled out his phone and snapped a picture, grinning as he assigned the photo to Roxas’ number. 

“Transaction complete,” he said with a cheerful smile. He bent at the waist into a shallow bow, doffing an imaginary hat. “Happy isolation, I’ll text you later.” He winked and then was gone, disappearing around the corner as he headed off towards the bakery.

Roxas watched him go, slightly dazed by the encounter, but there was the toilet paper in his cart, and behind him, his escape. He turned his cart and fled to the checkout lines, zipping through the process before heading home to bunker down for the long haul.

He honestly didn’t think he’d hear from Axel again, had just chocked it up to a moment of levity in an otherwise chaotically dark time. He’d gotten home, stored his groceries away, and thought it might be a fun story to tell the gang when they dialed up for their digital hangout. But he was clearing up the dinner dishes when his phone buzzed, and he saw there was a new message from an unsaved number. It only took him a moment to recognize the number Axel had given him earlier that day, but it was odd that he’d waited this long to contact him again. Curious, he swiped it open to read.

> _**???:** <image> Wish you were here :( _

If it was a dick pic, it would be the easiest block of his life, but the guy _had_ been cute, and he _had_ gotten the roll of toilet paper down for him. Against his better judgment, he opened the attachment. 

The image loaded and he was staring at a picture of a bathroom. Axel had drawn a sad face over an empty toilet paper holder, the tattered strips of toilet paper barely hanging on to the cardboard tube. Roxas felt a sting of guilt. So Axel really _had_ needed it, it hadn’t been an excuse to get his number. His fingers flew over his phone before he realized what he was doing.

> _**Roxas:** You could have said something-- I would’ve given you a roll to tide you over _

The response was almost immediate, meaning Axel had been waiting-- hoping?-- for his reply.

> _**???:** Lolllll its fne We have extra _
> 
> _**???:** I just wanted to see if u blocked me yet. _
> 
> _**???:** You seemed pissed _

Roxas choked back an irritated laugh. Axel really had been goading him on to see if he could make him snap. Maybe he _should_ have kicked him in the shins and been done with it. He tapped on the settings, preparing to block him, but Axel got out another text before he managed it.

> _**???:** Sorry I teased you_
> 
> _**???:** I wasn’t sure how else to get your number_
> 
> _**???:** Also You’re cute when you’re angry _

He snorted at that.

> _**R** **oxas:** I was pissed, I hate shopping and people are being idiots right now _
> 
> _**Roxas:** But I did appreciate the help. I haven’t had to go ‘King Kong’ in a long while _

The response was immediate.

> **???:** You’ve done that before? LOL tenacious

Somehow, Roxas found himself typing up the story of the time Sora had convinced him to climb up the shelves in a home improvement store, and Axel replied back with a tale of being a tall preteen trying to sneak into an R rated movie. 

It was nice, chatting back and forth. Despite their somewhat unusual meeting, it was easy to talk to him. Axel had a quick and sharp tongue, sarcastic without being cruel. Roxas gave as good as he got, and it wasn’t until Sora called that he realized they’d been chatting back and forth for almost two hours. He told Axel he had to go, and switched over to his phone to talk to his brother.

Sora didn’t really have much to say, but it was still nice to keep in touch. Newly moved in with his boyfriend Riku, he still liked to check in on his little brother, especially now that Roxas was on his own in the apartment. He didn’t believe Roxas when he said he actually managed to grab some supplies, not until Roxas sent him a picture of the plastic-wrapped bundle.

“Waa you’re lucky! They’re all out over here and I dunno what we’re gonna do when we run out!”

“Stop pooping, then,” Roxas offered helpfully, and he could hear Riku’s laughter in the background, since apparently he was on speaker.

“We’ll be fine,” Riku promised, although Roxas was sure it was more for Sora’s sake than his. He grinned, thinking again about how he’d managed to get his supplies. If it’d been any other time, he might’ve flirted back a little harder, since Axel clearly liked a challenge. Roxas wouldn’t be upset if he happened to text again.

He chatted with them a bit longer, but there wasn’t much more to be said. He hung up with a promise to be online later to go raiding with them, and ended the call, the screen fading back to his previous messages. He stared at the ??? number before typing in 'Skyscraper', and moogled an image of a tall structure to save as Axel’s photo. When things blew over and if he hadn’t blocked Axel before then, and if Axel played his cards right, maybe they’d meet up for the promised date, and he’d get to ‘go all King Kong’ on him after all. He smiled, setting down his phone. Now _there_ was an image to help him get through the next few weeks.


End file.
